Welcome to HellSchool
by Deekie
Summary: Across the Gate held more horrors than the Homunculi, than the Nazi’s, than the war. Instead it held classes, skanks, homework and teen romance. Welcome to High School.
1. Chapter 1

Ed groaned, walking into the large building.

He was thinking in a very annoyed manner '_Anywhere! I'd rather have been sent to London place, than here!_'

The building he was in just so happened to be a high-school; Central High-school, to be exact.

It seemed that the Gate had thought that it would be funnier to send him to Amestris... but a different one.

It was more modern and he couldn't use alchemy. It seemed that auto-mail existed, but he'd gotten his arm and leg restored, so it wasn't an important detail for him.

He walked into was seemed to be the secretary's office and looked up at the man **(1)** sitting behind the only desk in the large room. Ed gaped when he recognised the man to be Mason, from Dublith.

"Hello there! How can I help ya?" he asked, friendly.

"Err, I'm Edward Elric... I'm new..." he wasn't usually this awkward, but he hadn't been to school since he was like eight or something and he was talking to someone with the face of an old friend of his.

"Oh yea! I remember Maria saying something about a kid enrolled here by the State... that's you right?"

"Umm... sorta, yeah."

"Cool!" the secretary grinned at him, before handing him two pieces of paper. "Okay, this sheet here is a map of the school. It's pretty big here, so you'll need it to get to, at least, your first class." He then pointed to the other sheet, "This one is your time-table; it has your classes, your teachers, your classrooms and your lunch time. Now, the classes that kids would normally choose themselves were automatically picked for you, so, if you don't like 'em, ya can come back here at the end of the week and we'll sort somethin' out, 'kay?"

Ed nodded, trying to take in all of the information he'd been given.

"Great! Now, off ya go, don't wanna be late, do ya?"

"Okay, bye..." Ed turned and left the office.

Once out the door, he checked his timetable and gasped.

**First Period:**** Ms Hawkeye, English, 09:00-10:00**

**Second Period:**** Mr Havoc, Health, 10:00-10:45**

_**Break, 10:45-11:00**_

**Third Period:**** Ms Ross, World History, 11:00-12:00**

_**Lunch, 12:00-12:30**_

**Fourth Period:**** Mr Mustang, Science, 12:30-13:30**

**Fifth Period: ****Mr Fuery, Maths, 13:30-14:30**

'_And here I thought that I'd only have to deal with Mason's look-alike... crap._' he thought to himself angrily.

He quickly made his way to his first class of the day, English.

Once there, he noticed that the door was already open and that a few people were casually chatting inside. He also saw Hawkeye straight away, standing by her desk, sorting out some sheets and books.

As soon as he'd mustered up the nerve, he walked over to her and nervously spoke, "Err, Ms Hawkeye?"

She turned to look at him and smiled softly, "Hello, you must be the new student, right?" Ed nodded, shocked by her behaviour. "Well, just tell me your name so that I can put it in the register."

He told her his name and she sent him to a desk at the back of the classroom. No one else was sitting there yet, so he decided to hope that no one would.

His wished seemed to be granted when the bell rang and people rushed to their seats, no one sitting beside him. Ed decided that he didn't want to know if anyone else he knew had any doubles here, so he kept his head down.

Ms Hawkeye started the lesson, and all Ed could think about was why no one was messing. This class had to be the best behaved group of any sort that he'd ever heard of!

About five minutes into the lesson, the door swung open to reveal a girl with long blonde hair wearing luminous clothes. She had bright green eyes and a nice figure.

"Miss Greene, why are you late this time?" asked the teacher.

The girl just smiled, "I fell asleep on my couch again, so I didn't hear my alarm clock go off upstairs."

Ms Hawkeye rolled her eyes and told her to sit down.

She came up and sat next to me. She didn't even look at me though, which I found odd. I soon realised why though;

About ten minutes later, while the teacher was writing something on the board, I noticed a small note on my book.

I opened it up and read it:

**Heya! I'm Apple, who are you?**

I looked up at the girl, but she seemed to be paying rapt attention to the lesson.

I inwardly shrugged and decided to reply; so I wrote my message under hers:

**I'm Edward, but everyone calls me Ed. Is your name seriously Apple Greene?!**

I shoved the note onto her book and looked back at the teacher. A few moments later, I heard her suppress a laugh and the scratching of her pen on the note.

**Hiya Ed! Yeah, it is... my parents are messed up people; a lot of people call me Fruits though, cause I like the manga Fruits Basket (2) ^-^ do you know it??**

**No, I don't even know what a 'manga' is... **

She didn't even bother writing a reply; she just turned to me and mimed a heart attack.

I barely held in a snort, as the teacher said something about handing back some tests.

When she got to our table, she gave Apple a smile before placing hers on the table in front of her.

I leaned over and my eyes widened when I saw the 96% written beside her name in red.

I whispered, "What happened to the other 4%?"

She smirked back, "The same reason as always, I swear too much!"

The bell rang and, as everyone started out the door, I took out my map to try and find my way to Health class.

Apple saw me stay in my seat and came over to see what I was doing.

"Oh, you have health too?" she commented.

I looked up, kinda relieved, "Yeah, is it a good class?"

She looked a little confused, "Huh? Ohh; no, I don't have that class- my friend does. He's always going on about what a stupid lesson it is. I can take you if ya want?"

"But won't you be late for your next class?"

"Nah," she laughed. "the first fifteen minutes of PE are always the same; go in, listen to Mr Armstrong's family history, get changed, be tortured by his creepy muscles, and go to your next class in pain."

Ed laughed and let her lead him to another room. Once there, he decided to ask her a question;

"So, who **is **this friend of yours?"

Apple smiled, "Hang on!" She poked her head into the classroom and when she came back out, she was grinning. "Here he is!" She pulled Ed into the room with her and proceeded to the back of the room.

"Yo! Apple, what are ya doin here?" came a voice Ed easily recognised.

"Calm down dude! I was just showing my new friend here to his new class!" she pulled at Ed's arm and he thought:

'_She already considers me her friend? Wow.. that was fast._'

"Hey, I'm Apple's friend; Envy." He held out a hand to shake.

'_He can't be evil... right?_'

Ed decided to be friendly and reached out to shake Envy's hand, but before he could, Envy pulled back his hand and laughed, "SIKE!"

Apple laughed too before smacking him on the arm, "Come on, Envy! Be nice!"

The bell then rang and Jean Havoc's double came into the classroom shouting for everyone to sit down. He noticed Apple and gave her a funny look;

"Apple? What are you doing in my classroom?"

She grinned and seemed to start into some speech that no one understood;

"Well... "IwasonmywaytoclasswhenIsawthecutestllamaEVERandIjustHADtopetitbutitatemymonkeycalledpancakeandiwasalllikeWHATTHECRAPYOUATEMYMONKEYandjusthadtogetrevengesoIdecidedtobakeitapoisonuscakebutcouldn'tfindtherightingrediantssoImadeitupasIwentbutitwasn'tpoisonusandthellamadidn'tdiesoIdecidedtoscareitawaybyflashingitmyboobsbutitwasallSWEEEEEEETandIwasalllikePERVVVVVanddecidedthattheonlyonewhocouldsavemefromthepervertedllamawasENVYsoIcametogethimtoexorsisethesatanicllamabutwhenIfoundhimhesaidthatitonlyworkedonghostssoIhadtokillthellamafirstbutthenwefoundoutthatitwasalreadydeadGASPbutwedidn'thavethestuffforanexorsismsowehadtocallintheGHOSTBUSTERSandtheygotridoftheghostandwealllivedhappilyeverafter!"**(3)**

There was complete silence in the classroom until Envy burst out laughing and started to clap; "That HAD to have been your best one yet, Apple!"

"Thanks Envy, well I'd better get to class now!" she grinned and proceeded to skip away, leaving the class - minus Envy - in shock.

"Alright then... I heard that we have a new student today; now, please come up to me so I can take down your name." said the teacher, a little unnerved after Apple's speech.

Ed went up to the teacher and went through the same stuff as his first class before being sent to sit next to Envy.

He soon discovered that Health class was very, very dull.

And he also soon found out that this alter-Envy was pretty cool.

**So, Apple never said your name... what is it????????????????????????**

He read the note in front of him and raised an eyebrow at the amount of question marks.

**I'm Ed... **

**HIYA ED!!! ^-^**

Ed snorted at the crazy teen and decided to check out the class for any more doubles, but found none.

**Where are you stayin???**

**An orphanage... **

**Youchies, sorry.. any bro's or sis's???**

**Not anymore... you??**

Ignoring the pain, Ed realised that he'd started using more than one question mark...

**Yep, and they're right pains too! Wrath is 14 but acts like he's 5 and adores our 20 year old sis Sloth; Lust is 17 and a complete whore; Gluttony is her twin and is a pig; Pride is 24, but hasn't spoken to me in years... and Greed is my man-whore of a cousin at our age... Fucked up huh?**

Ed stared at the note in shock, wondering why this stranger had told him all about his messed up life.

**Strange names...**

Envy laughed before replying:

**Yeah, Mom's a freak.**

**That's a lot of kids. Where do you live?**

**An old house just outside of Central; I have to get up at fuckin' 6 to take the bus to school!!(4)**

The bell rang and we stood up to pack our bags.

The next hour went by in a flash for Ed; in World History with Ross, he was relieved to find that Apple was in it with him, but also saw the doubles of Winry and Russell Trigham.

After that was half an hour for lunch.

Apple leapt to her feet and tapped her foot impatiently as Ed packed his bag. Once finished, she grabbed his arm and proceeded to pull him down various hallways until they reached what Ed figured was the Lunch room, seeing as there were so many people sitting at long tables eating during lunchtime.

She continued to pull him until she got to a table where he saw Envy and some others.

"ENVY!!!" she cried, throwing her bag onto the table and hugging him. "I MISSED YOU!"

The green-haired boy just laughed and pushed her into a seat beside him and waved at Ed.

"Hi..." said Ed, sitting down beside Apple.

"Where's Niamhy?" asked Apple, looking around.

Ed frowned, wondering who Niamhy was. Envy seemed to notice his confusion and leaned around Apple to explain:

"Niamh is her twin sister."

"Oh, thanks- hang on; why does Apple have such a weird name when her sister doesn't?"

"Haha," laughed Apple, joining the conversation. "It's because my dad is weird and my mam isn't!"

"Huh?"

Envy rolled his eyes and decided to give the new boy a normal answer; well, as normal as an answer can get about Apple:

"Her dad's a little eccentric and wanted to name their kid as some fruit. Her mam isn't that stupid and wanted to name their kid Niamh or something else that's normal. As it happened, they had twins and got to name them Apple and Niamh!"

"NIAMHY!" Apple suddenly stood and started waving her arms, drawing the attention of the whole room.

As it was, Niamh only needed to be four feet away from Apple to deserve that kind of greeting.

"Hey Apple, Envy!" she grinned.

Niamh was different from her sister; they looked nothing alike. Niamh had short dyed-red hair and dark green eyes. She was about an inch taller and was wearing a red top with a butterfly design and a pair of red jeans. Her shoes were silver and said 'Converse' on the side. She also wore a pair of sparkly silver-rimmed glasses.

Apple went over and hugged her sister, before standing back up on her chair, as though looking for someone else.

Ed was still trying to take this in, when something else happened that he needed to add to the waiting pile:

"NIAMH!" cried Envy. He ran over and hugged the girl, and then kissed her before sitting him on the chair to his left (Apple was on his right, and Ed was on Apples right).

"Who are you?" asked Niamh, leaning around Envy and her sister's legs to look at Ed.

"Oh, I'm Ed. I'm new here..."

"Nice to meet ya Ed!" she grinned at him, making him grin back.

"YAY!"

Ed jumped at the sudden squeal and looked at Apple just in time to see her wave over a tall, punk-looking guy with black hair and purple eyes; it was Greed's double.

As Greed reached their table, he went straight to Envy and wrapped his arms around his neck and breathed into his ear: "Hey Envy..."

Envy jumped and shoved his cousin off of him, "Cut it out Greed! You're disgusting!"

It was then that Greed noticed Ed beside Apple, who was now sitting down eating a nutella sandwich (YUM). He sauntered over and got waaaaay too touchy and in Ed's personal bubble for his liking.

He, like Envy, shoved him away and went bright red.

'_Dude... this world is MESSED UP!_' he thought as he buried his head in his arms.

**HEYA! How'd ya like it??? I've been reading a lot of AU high school fics recently and thought that this might be a cool idea.... I don't know for certain, but my sister likes it (if you've read the author notes in my other stories, you'll notice that I rely on my sister's opinion a LOT)**

I decided to make the secretary a man, because I haven't yet found a high school fic with a male secretary... funny huh??

I really like it, and thought that it would be appropriate XP

I had a lotta fun writing that! XD I got my sister to read it and all she could say was "wow Amy..." hehe, I like making people speechless!

I don't mean that he actually takes the bus at 6am; I mean that he has to get up at 6 to get ready and eat before the bus leaves at 7:30am. He has a lotta hair to take care of.


	2. Chapter 2

**Previously:**

_As Greed reached their table, he went straight to Envy and wrapped his arms around his neck and breathed into his ear: _

_"Hey Envy..." Envy jumped and shoved his cousin off of him, "Cut it out Greed! You're disgusting!" _

_It was then that Greed noticed Ed beside Apple, who was now sitting down eating a nutella sandwich (YUM). _

_He sauntered over and got waaaaay too touchy and in Ed's personal bubble for his liking. __He, like Envy, shoved him away and went bright red. _

_'_Dude... this world is **MESSED UP**!_' he thought as he buried his head in his arms. _

**

* * *

**

**CHAPTER TWO**

After the final bell of the day, Ed sighed in relief; school was even more annoying than he remembered!

Denny Brosh came over to him with a grimace plastered on his face.

"Dude, that was so confusing! I don't get this maths..."

Ed, still finding it hard to see his old bodyguard as a teen, shrugged, "I didn't find it very challenging, but I **really **don't like having to go to school." Denny laughed and agreed with him.

"Yeah, and Mr Fuery really doesn't live up to his name!" the two boys laughed. "It's almost as if he's scared of us!"

"But I would be too, honestly!" they laughed again.

They started walking towards their lockers, carefully stepping around different people.

"So, how are you getting back to the orphanage?" asked Denny suddenly. Ed shrugged again;

"Walking; it's not that far from here, so there's no need for a bus or anything..."

Ed still wasn't particularly happy with being stuck in a frigging orphanage by the State, but there was nothing he could do about it.

The two teens were lucky to have their lockers so close to each other.

After they had sorted out their bags, they went to the front gate and separated.

After only a week in this strange world, Ed was able to quickly make his way back to Central's only orphanage.

There seemed to be very few orphans in this Central, not that Ed had ever really noticed in his own world, and so it wasn't all that big.

After the short journey, he arrived at his new "home" and went straight up to the large front-door and entered. Inside the home, it seems a lot bigger than it does from the outside. There was a spacious hall when you enter with a couch, a small coffee-table, and some magazines and, on the walls, were some pictures of the different children that had lived there.

Ed ignored all of this and went straight to the stairs on the left hand side of the room. He climbed up them and went into the room at the end of the hall. In this hall were many doors, most of which led to bedrooms of the children or to one of the three game rooms, where the children could watch TV or play games or read.

On his door were his name and the name if his "room-buddy" as the younger boy called him. He went straight into the room and dumped his bag on his bed.

Inside the room were two beds, a large desk to share, a small shelf above the desk, two small wardrobes, a window and two bedside tables. On his room-mates side of the room was covered with different pictures of himself with other kids, his family or his friends.

Sighing, he fell onto his bed face-down.

_Why the heck am I __**here**__??? _he thought, worn out.

* * *

It was yet another day of school and Ed was on his way to his first class; PE with Mrs Curtis. He wasn't looking forward to it very much...

Once at the hall, he went straight over to her desk in the corner (he knew the Izumi from his own world well enough to prepare the best he could, so he dressed in his PE uniform before coming to school).

He cleared his throat nervously and asked, "Err, Mrs Curtis?" she looked up at him and he continued, "Um, I'm Edward Elric; the new student..."

"Oh. Well, we're doing volleyball at the moment; have you ever played it?"

"Um, no... I've never really done sports in school..."

"You didn't join any teams, or was Physical Education not part of the curriculum?"

"Um, it was part of the curriculum, but we never studied sports and, no, I didn't join any teams..." he replied, a little nervous of how his negative answer would affect her.

She sighed, "Well, what **did **you study?"

"Um, fighting, self-defence, that sort of thing..." Her eyebrows shot up in shock.

"What kind of school did you go to?! Military school?!"

I chuckled nervously, "Err, sorta, I guess..."

Izumi sighed again and spoke, "Have you ever played volleyball before? No? Well, you'll have to learn fast. You can sit this class out and just watch, but I expect you joining in next time!"

She got the look in her eyes that was all too familiar to Ed; the one that told him that if he didn't, there would be much pain in his future.

* * *

"Edwaaaaaaard!" called a vaguely familiar and very irritating voice.

"What the heck do you want?!" growled Ed, looking up from his book. It was a book on the history of this world. He discovered that there weren't that many differences.

The black-haired boy just grinned, "I've just finished uploading my pictures onto my laptop! I noticed that you didn't like looking at them on the tiny screen on my camera and just **knew **that you would appreciate them sooo much more!" His glasses almost seemed to twinkle in the sunlight coming in through the window.

Ed rolled his eyes, "No, Hughes; I won't appreciate them any more on your computer," he suddenly got an idea, "Actually, Hughes, I think that I'd appreciate them best if I could simply **imagine **them, rather than look at them."

The teenaged Maes Hughes gasped, "But how could you?! You've run away from every photo I've shown you! How could you know what my darling Gracia looks like?! Unless..." he frowned, "...is she in any of you classes?"

Ed gave a small sigh of relief, he'd been afraid that Maes had thought that he'd been seeing his wife -no- **girlfriend** behind his back.

"No, Maes, not that I know of. But you seriously need to remember that I've only been in this place for a week and I've only been to school twice!"

The boy shrugged, "Meh, I don't get it... my last room-buddy was so much more interested in Gracia and my ideas of our future baby – her name's gonna be Elysia and she's gonna be soooooo cuuuuuute!!! Just wait until you see! Oh, and I can only imagine how gorgeous my sweet, darling, beautiful Gracia will look when she's pregnant with her! Oooh! I just can't wait! Ooh; d'ya wanna see my plans for our wedding?! It's gonna be incredible-!"

Ed could only stare at the once-grown man. Yes, he **could **imagine his future child, and, yes, he **could** imagine how Gracia would look when she was pregnant. All this because, back in his own world this man was damn close to being a father-figure to him, and now.... now he was acting like a gossiping girl fantasising about her future husband... and he thought that he was bad as an **adult**! He felt a sudden wave of sympathy for Colonel Mustang, back in his own world.

"Hey," Ed interrupted his speech "who was your old room-mate? Why isn't he here now?" Maes blinked for a moment, trying to compose himself slightly,

"Err... oh yeah! He was only a little kid... his name was Selim. The lucky bastard got adopted by the Fuhrer, of all people!"

"... Seriously?" Ed stared at him. Maes nodded, grinning,

"The young ones are always the ones that get adopted! And Selim was pretty cute, plus he was always so interested in my darling Gracia and my baby, Elysia!" the mad-man spoke of his future baby as if she already existed.

_Or maybe he was just so scared of you that he was willing to agree to anything you say... actually, _thought Ed, _that probably __**is**__ the reason... poor kid..._

* * *

**And that is that... sorry that my stories are taking so long to update... I've had a pretty hectic summer.... and pretty annoying writers block.... and these stupid story ideas keep flicking into my head, which I then write down and don't finish... so yea... :) **

**I'm just back to school now and have much studying ahead of me, so I'll let you go now... while I head back to my Italian... *cries* please save me!!!**

**xxx Amy xxx **


End file.
